Alex is excited to sit down with Freddie Bennett today, who is someone she met on a Facebook Group in her early days of sobriety. Freddie is about one month earlier into sobriety than Alex - and he's accomplished so much while sober! From moving his family from the UK to New Zealand, achieving a Guiness World Record, Starting a Business, participating in an Ironman and an Ultramarathon, and raising over $100,000 for charity. Tune into this episode to hear Freddie's inspiring journey - and what he's learned along the way.
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You can learn more from Freddie's journey at this link: https://freddiembennett.com/me/. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/.
Transcript
Alex: Hi friend this is Alex McRobbs founder of the Mindful Life Practice and you're listening to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world to the Middle East at age 23 and I never went back. I got sober in 2019 and I now live full-time in Bali, Indonesia. I've made it my mission to help other women around the world stop drinking, start yoga and change their lives through my online sober girls yoga Community. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling, let me show you how.
[Music]
Alex: Hello hello, welcome back to another episode of Sober Yoga Girl. I am really excited to be sitting down today with Freddy Bennett and Freddie and I have been connected on social media for like literally years. we met in the early stages of our alcohol-free journey and we've been talking about doing a podcast episode together for so long. It's finally happening which is really exciting and Freddie is an author entrepreneur and he actually is also a world record holder. He is the world's fastest fisherman which you can tell us a bit about.
Freddie: Alex, thank you so much. It's a real pleasure to finally be here on the podcast. It's been amazing it's uh to to watch your alcohol-free journey and uh yeah it's an honor and a pleasure to be part of it and I always say um, you know I'm, I'm obviously not a girl. I'm not great at yoga but I certainly am sober and so one out of three isn't bad and it's uh yeah and it's a real honor to be here. I'm excited about our conversation.
Alex: Awesome, well thank you so much for for taking the time to be on the show and so you are just um about just over three and a half years alcohol free so we almost quit drinking at the exact same time so you quit in March of 2019 and then I quit in April.
Freddie: Yes, that's right it must have been something uh somebody in the air around that time um. Yes, it has been over three and a half years for me now and I would never say that sobriety is always easy it's never a walk in the park but it is always so worth it and and certainly with the with the journey that I've been on it's uh it's been a roller coaster but it's uh it's a ride I'm very glad that I've been on.
Alex: So, tell me a bit about your journey up into the point. When you decided to quit drinking like, what was your life like before you quit alcohol?
Freddie: It's a great question and you know what the funny thing is on the surface when I was drinking, life looked pretty good. Um, you know, so let's go back to I was yeah I'm, I'm 40 scarily enough now so you know when I was 35 say you know I had a a good job with uh with like a global corporate company. I was living in a nice part of the UK, um I had the young family, I had the Porsche on the driveway, I had the nice holidays, I had the granite worktops in the kitchen, people would look at me and say yeah that guy's pretty successful but on the inside my my life was falling apart. I was stressed, I was depressed because I wasn't really living a life that I wanted to live. I wasn't living a life that was true to my values. I was working too hard because I had to try and keep up to this, this lifestyle. Keeping up appearances whilst at the same time feeling like a real imposter in, in my position and thinking when, when is everyone going to find me out. That I'm not as good as I say I am and because of all this I was drinking more and more and yeah I, I will I always like to drink I was always that uh that All or Nothing type like go hard or go home but, but there was some point when I went from you know teenage heavy drinker to college heavy drinker to I finally got a paycheck heavy drinker to getting more responsibility and it, it stops being fun. The you know, the damn side was much bigger than the upside and as I found myself as yeah as a guy in his mid-30s the night's got longer, the projects got harder, the waistline's got tighter, the uh the stress got bigger and then the drinks got stronger and I found myself going from, for a weekend warrior to having a drink because it was a Monday and then having a drink on a Tuesday because I was celebrating and then a drink on a Wednesday because I was commiserating and these warning signs kept on appearing you know. The missing a meeting or being late for work or you know messing up something at home or arguments I had one uh one situation in in New York City when uh I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and and a drug dealer held a loaded gun to my head and, and threatened to pull the trigger and and all of these were kind of giving me the evidence that I didn't want to see that I needed to make a change in my life and it wasn't until um some some quite difficult things happened like um, like my dad dying very suddenly. My dad was a heavy drinker um that made me realize and I did have that moment where I looked in the mirror one morning and, and I saw this guy who was stressed. Whose skin was pale, who had a beer belly, who had kind of like broken nicotine stained teeth and I looked at myself in the mirror and I said this is not the way it was supposed to go. I had all these hopes, I had all these dreams and these goals but I've just turned into this guy that I thought I'd never be who was just sitting on the sofa every night drinking beers, bitching about the world, unhappy inside, unhappy outside and I thought there has to be another way and I tried everything else so I thought maybe it's time to to take a break from alcohol.
Alex: Wow, and so when you decided to take a break, was there a plan or did you say I'm going to do it for a period of time? Was it like a forever type of thing like? What was that decision like?
Freddie: It, it's a great question and yeah let's say and start off I tried and failed a thousand times. I, I did everything that we've, we've probably all done it was the typical Sunday in the night, I'm not gonna drink next week. It's the you know I'm only gonna drink beer or I'm only gonna drink straight Spirits because that's a good idea or I'm only gonna you know we settle these rules and boundaries for ourselves and I broke every single one of those obviously and so I said to myself and that was also saying um you know, and we've all been there kind of going “oh all I'm gonna do is not drink this weekend” and then prove to myself that everything's fine and I'd get through the weekends I'd say ah look at that I don't have a problem I'm gonna go and celebrate now and then wake up three days later in a different date and different to call our mental state and uh I say, I do have a problem. So, I started off by saying 90 days, just 90 days to prove to myself that I had some control in my life to prove to myself that I wasn't at the mercy of other people that, I wasn't at the mercy of a bottle that I could actually keep a promise to myself and that was a key thing about learning that I can keep a promise to myself and that's why I set that initial 90-day goal and uh and I was actually able to complete it and then we say well 90 was okay why don't I do another 90 and then six months and you get that far and you think well I'm kind of halfway to the year now so why not and see um see what I'm capable of and and that was a key step to me. Is just coming from this place of confusion and hurt and dismay and shame and then proving to myself that I could actually do what I said I was going to do. That I could actually keep a promise to myself because when I was a drinker my life was full of broken promises. Yeah, I promise, I'm definitely going to be at that meeting tomorrow morning, I'm definitely gonna be there for the kids, uh in a school thing, I'm definitely gonna not drink tonight. It was just broken promise after broken promise. So a lot of those early steps and that first 90 days was reminding myself that I could keep my word that I could keep my promise because I believe if we, if we can't keep promises to ourselves, that it's always difficult to create that long lasting change. So, so by going for that early 90 days and by, by working with programs such as the amazing programs that you run Alex. Um, it's just a great way to to have that, that foundation and to, to build that stable platform from which you can start to build and change your life.
Alex: And what's that in your first 90 days do you remember like, what was, what was that like, what were some of the challenges, what was um what did you overcome during that time?
Freddie: It felt like, it's a weird way to describe it but it felt like 90 days of crossroads. Like um, you know every, everyday it would be like do you want to take the you know, do you want to go left or go right? I was gonna say the uh uh The Matrix analogy of the red pill or the blue pill but back in those days I would have just taken both pills and probably washed them down with a drink but that's another story. Um, I remember the, the very first week and this shows up the, the way the alcohol is seen in the UK. Especially, my kid was about six years old at the time. I was helping out at like, a like a school play or disco or something and they, they said to me like oh Freddy we've got the perfect job for you, you can look after the bar because I had the reputation of being you know, the extravagant party guy and they were like oh Freddie you can go on the bar. So, I found myself kind of on day five being on a bar serving people drinks and then the, the organizers say oh you have a few yourself and I'm like oh goodness I'm trying to take a break from alcohol. I'm behind a bar, I'm watching people having a great time drinking. I'm being told to have free drinks and that was a huge Crossroad because in so many times I'd um, I've just been like oh okay I'll try again next week and then had a few drinks but I had such a strong feeling that again if I was going to prove to myself um that I'm going to do something different this time, that I have to choose that different path and I have, I have many phrases in life but one of my favorite phrases is “if you want the things you've never had before, you need to do the things you've never done before.” And, and that's what I kept saying to myself in those early days, I need to do something different. I need to do the thing I've never done before. Which is actually saying no to a drink and, and yes yeah there were, there were stresses at work, there were birthday parties, there were friends who almost got quite aggressive when, when you say you're not drinking, thinking and they kind of say oh yes but, but it's you Freddie you're always the Drinker, you're the fun one you need to have a drink and when you say no it's so hard and that's what I've got so much respect for, for anyone that, that's on this journey. Especially in the early days because it does take so much control. Um but what I did find as well is that it I couldn't make it about willpower because I've tried. I've tried willpower so many times in the past and you kind of White Knuckle it and you hold on and you say you know, oh I really want to drink but I'm not going to have a drink but I need a drink but I won't drink but a drink would be fun but I can't drink and then this, this whole thing goes around in your head and then in the end because as humans we, willpower just won't last us so long. So, I mean I had to have something stronger than willpower, I had to have that vision of the life that I wanted. The alcohol-free life and that's what I had to keep replaying was, if I want that life, if I want all those things that I've dreamed of. I need to not have this drink right now. If I want that then I need to say no to this and, and those kinds of thoughts and feelings were well what got me through those, those 90 days. Which um which was crazy as I say we, we sometimes get, get bought in by um, by uh you know the way other people do marketing should we say and, and they're like oh, it's wonderful, it's fine you're going to be dancing on rainbows and and sober life is wonderful darling and it's not and then that's what I say. It's because people sometimes get sold on that dream and then real life happens and they think oh no this doesn't work for me and then they have a drink and, and it's not always fun. It's not always easy, it's not always rainbows but if we, if we believe in that vision of the alcohol-free life that I believe that everyone deserves everyone is capable of achieving that is what can get us through those, those early tricky days when um when it all feels a bit unsure.
Alex: And I love that idea of just having that vision and believing in it because I think that is like that was one of the key things that got me through my early days is I actually wrote a poem visualizing my day a milestone. It was I visualized day 30 and then that was like the anchor that I kept coming back to and so I think it's like you have to see exactly as you said, you have to see beyond this moment right now in the long term of the destination that you're heading towards to keep um at those moments of Crossroads to keep heading in the right direction.
Freddie: Definitely. No, I think that our visualization is so important. I know it's um, it's a key thing you've talked about on your podcast before and what you do and some people say oh you know that's, that's just having a pause to view of the future but it can be so much more deeper in it as you say. It's such a powerful tool to to help make, make it real. It makes our future Vision you know as real as possible because that's what I believe can really get us through.
Alex: Yeah and so when you talked about, so you talked about this night where you ended up being behind the bar serving drinks, did you end up telling people in that moment? Like it was your day. Did you say like I'm taking a break from alcohol or did you just not talk about it? How did you navigate that?
Freddie: I, I didn't talk about it and this is maybe where I'm quite different and I wouldn't um I wouldn't recommend this is the way that everyone does it. I kind of, I kept it very private and I, I know a lot of people are like they want the accountability and then they say right, I'm on day one and The Whole World's Gonna know about it and if you even, even if I smell a drink I'm gonna be like alcohol-free Journey day one, no no no not for me. It's probably because I'm British and I'm a bit more like reserved and um my personal view is though it has to be whatever works for, for anyone because the, the key thing is not to, to put that drink in your body and so I've said yeah if you have to say you're on antibiotics, if you have to say you're hungover, if you have to say you've got a big work day tomorrow, if you have to say you're doing a marathon, um whatever it is or you know or you can say look I'm on this journey right now and that's why I'm not drinking. I think to be honest whatever um you want to say that gets you through that, that evening and that gets you through those moments and it's weird three and a half years in I was in there because I'm in New Zealand now. I was in Queenstown last, last week and again people hadn't met before in an Irish bar and even then, even after three and a half years I was like look guys I don't drink. I'm not drinking and they were like come on you can have one, you can have one and I was like I've, I've literally, I've written books, I've given talks about everything. About you know the alcohol-free life and yet here I am, I was tempted as well, that's, I was actually tempted by the drink and I, I found myself saying like maybe just one. That's, been three and a half years and then I was kind of going oh um uh I don't really drink and it's just crazy the way our brain, our brain works like I say probably because I'm a guy, probably because I'm British. I already yeah nobody's perfect. If I was a uh yeah a much more intelligent female then it'd be fine most of them but I, I truly believe that whatever you have to say um to get yourself through that particular situation, that the people should do because what's really important is the outcome and the outcome that we want is that people choose not to drink on that particular day.
Alex: Yeah. Thanks for sharing that and that's so true. That for everyone it, it ends up being different. I think in my early days I was a little bit um more reserved as well too about my sobriety Journey. Um like I, I definitely wasn't posting about it on social media. I think it was like day 90 when I eventually shared on social media that I was on all three. When did you have a point when you shared publicly about your sober Journey?
Freddie: So, I think again, it was quite late on for me. I think I, I mentioned it. At 90 days uh my first big announcement was um was after a year um and that's when I, I mentioned it on social media and a particular one that I was worried about was LinkedIn with uh with LinkedIn being a bit more kind of corporate and professional. Um and also I've cultivated this whole working Persona of being the party guy. The guy who would always you know, be great at the networking events and brilliant and the client entertaining. Um, because I was deep down, I was scared for being found out and I didn't feel like I was good enough to be in this corporate world where everyone you know went to the right college and knew the right things to say and you know wore the right shoes and everything else. I was the guy who kind of snuck in it, felt like so um so making those announcements were, was difficult and I was really nervous about that. Um and even things like talking to my family and friends because you have people saying are you an alcoholic? Um there were, there were people saying things like oh and yeah is it something that we've done? We need to talk about it and have this whole big thing and I was like look, we don't have to turn it into something that's, that's you know a big catastrophe where I need to have an intervention. It's just my decision and I've said to people I even say to people now when I meet them I have certain goals in my life that are business goals, financial goals, health goals, adventure goals, relationship goals. I've always said that if I want to achieve those goals that means I can't drink if I and another maybe controversial thing that I say um I can still not hand on heart say that I will never drink again, even now after three and a half years. I've always said if, if I hit all these goals that I have for myself um then maybe I'll have a drink but the thing is the goals I've set are so huge and impossible. Um at least on the surface. I know it's going to take me 10 years 15 years 20 years to actually complete them all um but it's, I, I know Alcoholics Anonymous gets, it has a different opinion shall we say and um some people love it some people don't. Go that way which is absolutely fine but one thing I do like um and what they say is it doesn't have to be forever. It just has to be for today and, and I think that is such a powerful thing in all of our lives, you know. Time we tend to think of time as being linear, there's all the crap that we did in the past that we're trying to escape, there's all the stuff in the future that we kind of want to happen but also makes us quite anxious and it's so easy to get caught up in either the past or the future but if we can just focus on the present and on today and what we can control then a lot of these things just, just sort of look after themselves and then so that's been one of my main focuses in is saying to people I'm not drinking today and if we can keep saying that then um then that's going to get us to where we need to be.
Alex: So, since you went out all free what have been some of the accomplishments? How has your life changed?
Freddie: Um so, how, how do I say this I um, I mean it's crazy when you think about it. Like, I don't, I don't count the exact days anymore but let's say it's 1200 days. Um, that I've been alcohol free to 1200 days ago I woke up and a pretty crappy budget hotel room in England overweight, stressed, really bad mental health, like kind of suicide helpline on speed dial kind of Mental Health. Rainy gray England outside, trapped in a job that I hated. Um, really just so unsure of anything in my life. My life just got out of control and I didn't even know how to fix it. Which was a scary thing. Fast forward 1200 days, I'm in New Zealand watching a beautiful blue sky, best-selling author, business owne,r Guinness World Record holder, ultra marathon winner Iron Man. Um, happy, confident, father um and then yeah and that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. Like, it's, it's crazy how um how life has changed and yeah just things like you know, I've run across the Sahara Desert as you said. I am the, the world's fastest fisherman which means, I don't know how to fish um but I'm in the Guinness book of records for the fastest marathon dressed as a fisherman including wearing the um you know we call them Wellington Boots in England, gumboots here in New Zealand. What just imagine the world's most uncomfortable unglamorous pair of rubber boots that you'd wear on a rainy day. I ran a marathon in them and um and all these things just because I started to prove to myself if I was the guy who had a gun held to his head by drug dealers, if I was the guy who everyone laughed at who everyone said you cannot change you uh the way you are you are Funtime Freddy, the party boy and that's never gonna change. If I can change from being that person then, then just imagine what anyone listening to this could do and, and I say that in the full knowledge that the stuff I do is quite crazy you know. No, one no one in their right mind wants to run across the Sahara Desert or run a marathon in rubber boots or do Iron Man erase or you know win Ultra marathons but for someone else that could be writing the book someone else that could be moving to a different country, it could be starting a job or a relationship or leading a relationship it could be following a dream to move to Bali, set up an amazing yoga-based business that helps people change their relationship with alcohol and inspires tens of thousands of people around the world who could do something like that? Alex. I do not know, but um, but it just goes to show that impossible things can happen and it can happen to all of us because I think we've all been there when, when we felt the shame of, of drinking and we've we, we drink because we feel ashamed and then our drinking makes us feel shameful and, and that makes us just think there's nothing better than this but, but we can all choose that life less ordinary and, and the fact that we can do that just by making one decision to, to not drink today is, is what we can do. So, yes like I said, I've done some cool things um yeah the Sahara that the world records and everything but the, the thing that I'm most proud of, it's, it's liking the person that I escaped from. Today, every morning and and my kids not seeing me passed out on the sofa and things like that and and I think if, if I can do that and, and help people to understand that another way is always possible then that we must be doing something right.
Alex: And what was the decision to move to New Zealand? Why did, what the pull to New Zealand?
Freddie: Um it's, first and foremost I wanted to have a I wanted an adventure. I wanted my kids to, to understand that there is more to life than the UK. Um, I know this isn't a political show so I won't get political but let's just say yet I kind of, I got a feeling that there was nicer places in the world to be than, than brexit Britain and yeah we see this in a lot of countries. In the US as well for example everything gets more polarized. You're either on this side or you're on that side or you're, you know either you get told to not like these people or like these people or you're rich or you're poor and I was like oh you don't just get that feeling like there's gotta be more to life than this and um so I started that, that exploration um ask her later. Canada was always an option of thinking you know all the best people come from Canada obviously and that's appealing. Australia was appealing but an opportunity came up to do some work in New Zealand and I knew a couple of people out here and it was one of those crazy thoughts that we all get where it's like you know, the thought comes into your brain and you're like oh that would be great but I can't do that surely and then you think about it overnight and you're like but what if I could? What if, what if I could do the two-day Journey? Um, yeah what if, what if I could start from basically zero again? What and then you start saying what if, what if we always say what if? In a bad way, what if it goes wrong? What if it's a failure? What if I end up drinking again? But you know, but what if we flipped it? What if it was a great opportunity? What if it was a chance to see a whole new life? What if it was nice for my kids to not have to wear shoes to school out of choice not because I was broke or anything like that, that was me who didn't wear shoes to school. Um, what if, if this adventure was, was something new and that's why I always encourage people to say what if in a good way and it was funny when I was leaving the UK um yeah and this was again during covid which was really difficult to get into New Zealand. It's really difficult to leave the UK, I mean I, I couldn't say goodbye to my family. I couldn't hug my mum goodbye. We couldn't have a leaving party, we couldn't do all of these things because the restrictions and people would always say to me oh I'd love to do that but I can't because family or work or time or money or confidence or all of the excuses we say to ourselves and this is the parallels with, with changing our drinking habits we're starting a business with moving to a different country. We always say to ourselves oh I'd love to do that but I can't um because I don't have the time, money, confidence, Support, network, belief any of these things but, but this is for me personally, why it comes back to the you know the the sudden and sad death of my dad. Um, because you know the start of my journey when I was at work um you know. This doesn't work very well in a podcast but the whole idea slumped in a chair kind of handing your chin, just hitting the keyboard with my hungover fingers saying oh come on five o'clock when's it gonna be five o'clock, so bored, so hungover. God my life is terrible and then the phone rang and um and it was someone saying your dad's in hospital and I had that, that day. That you kind of hear about in Hollywood, but we don't ever think what happened to us where I walked out of the office with just my suit and my my computer bag jumped in a car drove three hours and then you said it's cut along the painful story short lunchtime was just another hungover Day by dinner time. I watched my dad die and, and that was, was such a key moment for me because so much of what I do and what I say the alcohol free is such an important part but for me it's not really about the adventures or the races or the crazy books or challenges. It's about time and, and so I get a bit almost emotional when I say these things but on the day my dad died he didn't know he was going to die that day. He didn't you know, he woke up, he thought it was just gonna be another day um and then I always think about regret and that's one of the reasons why I stopped drinking and I thought I'm gonna regret so much of my life. I'm gonna ah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna just not be that person that I'm being and that's why I moved to New Zealand because I knew it's such a cliche isn't it? But life is for living. I didn't want to live my life say oh yeah I could have done that trip but I just, it was too hard. I could have started that in this but it was too hard and I read something very poignant the other day and um it's doing the rounds on social media and I don't mean this in a religious way or not but it's someone saying that that hell is when you meet the person that you could have been and um and that's something that I believe and I think of you know, my dad was an amazingly talented creative Genius of a man in many ways you know. He, he moved us to the U.S in the late 1980s because he started working with a guy called Steve and Steve turned out to be Steve Jobs and uh so that was like the people that he was working with um but it all went wrong for him because he was drinking too much and because he wasn't good at relationships and business and everything else and, and I just thought how many regrets did he have and, and we always say like oh I don't want to turn out like my parents but um, but it was true for me and I think how can we all do more. Just to not live that life of regret because we've all done things you know, we've all done stupid things especially when we're drunk and you know there's a say everyone's pissed in a closet and stuff. Like, that and um but we can't change any of that but we can change our futures and that's why it was so important to to make this leap of faith to move 12,000 miles to a place where I had no family, had no support, their work had no job um in many cases had no money and there have been, I've been here for 18 months now and there's been so many times when even now I've been like, ah if only I just stayed at home and even the other day I was catching myself saying you know what in those drinking days, I had a Porsche. I had the great bank account, I had all these brilliant things, was it so bad? Was life so bad? Because right now doesn't feel that bad to me when I'm here and yeah the scenery is beautiful but sometimes you're like oh you know and you know yourself as running your own business it can, it does bring challenges and stresses and struggles sometimes because that's the price of I've tried to do amazing things and have an amazing impact on on people's lives. Which you absolutely do and then every day I kind of think if I could, if I could be 10 of, of what Alex McRobs is doing that. I'm doing something right? Um, and no but that's true and but we always find ourselves in this position of saying have I made the right decision? But, but it always comes down to and this is the longest answer ever to your wine using the question by the way um but this is what I'd say, it's a if I could sum it up, it has to be about regret and saying I don't want to regret anything in my life and, and choosing to not drink gives us the fuel to pour on the fire of our dreams and if I can do that then if anyone can do that then then we're all going to make amazing things happen.
Alex: And I love that share about when you started answering the question, you were talking about how people all the time say I would love to do that but XYZ my family my, this my that and I hear that all the time like when I talk about my life living, I've spent my whole 20s living overseas and people all the time are like oh I'm jealous of you, I wish I could do that and I'm like you literally could. Yeah, I just packed up my stuff and just moved to Bali a year ago because I was like I just, this is just like what I want to do and it's like been absolutely challenging and difficult and there's moments where I'm like oh I should just go home, my life would be easier but it's really like it's about taking the risk and not having regrets and and it's always been me kind of figuring it out as I go and I think if anyone listening to this is thinking that they would want to make one of these big Life Changes like that like you absolutely can and especially once you go alcohol-free the world is just new words you know.
Freddie: I totally agree. I'd love to get your your view on this um we can flip it. Welcome to the podcast Alex this is an amazing book Garden but yeah and but someone said to me and I know this resonates with you maybe life wasn't supposed to be easy. I mean it's almost a bit like of the stoicism approach but um do you find that like it's like growth isn't always easy. What's easy is, is just saying yes to the drink or staying on the sofa or staying in the town where you know everyone. I mean yeah do you feel that there's sometimes that the most wonderful powerful things that happen in our lives aren't always the easiest.
Alex: Absolutely, absolutely you know I think about everything from getting sober to building my business like building my business has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done you know. Because it's constant like these challenges these, failures these setbacks and you look I see people all the time who would like to start a yoga business or start a coaching business or start whatever and then they give up at like the first sight of the first challenge. Like, you know you get rejected ones and you're like oh this isn't for me you know but in reality building a business has been like getting rejected a thousand times. Like, the amount of times I have launched a program it has failed, I have tried to do something it has failed, um runs an event haven't gotten people booked it's, it's never been like a straight like oh this is just my destiny and I've just stepped into it, it has been like setback after setback and I think if you want something like this so badly then you have to be able to move through those setbacks, accidents, challenges and just keep going and I think that's one of the biggest and one of the biggest misconceptions about all of this, whether it's sobriety, whether it's starting your own business. It's like people think oh I could never do that and and you're like no I actually overcome so many hurdles and challenges to get to that point it wasn't just easy for me sober you know or easy for me to start my business so you're I think you're absolutely right.
Freddie: I, I love that. I think we, it's so easy to get and again I believe it's so easy to get addicted to our problems and addicted to, to that sort of that, that negative talk in our heads. Like, yeah I, I can never change. I'm, I'm uh some of the ones I, I can never change. I'm, I can never keep a relationship, I can never hold down a job, I can't have fun without a drink, I'm not a runner, I'm terrible at yoga, I'm not a business person, all these things we just live our lives through this narrative and and I'm here to say you know, people can stop that. You can, it's you know, it's bit Tony Robbins, “Change your story, change your life.” But, but it is true and, and they say that the way I try and um embody that is through things like, like exercise and running because you know people say to me oh yeah but, but it's okay for you because you're a runner and I'm like, I'm not a runner. Like, literally three years ago I could not run around the block. I tried a marathon in 2012 in London and that was my uh my, my trademark drinking and training program which doesn't work. I think I literally took cigarettes with me for a training run um on Wednesday that's how badly I was doing i.t Uh, I tried this marathon and um it was terrible because it was London everyone's like oh darling London London Marathon darling. Oh it's wonderful the atmosphere darling, it's amazing around London. I just remember thinking this is the worst day of my life, like it took me six hours. I was crying and limping and everything else and so I'm like I'm not a runner but, but I told myself what if I just started? What if I just literally and metaphorically just took a step today and then another step tomorrow and then I went from that to completing the world's toughest foot race 200 miles across the Sahara Desert and I'm not a runner. So, someone else who says I, yeah, I can't quit drinking or they can also say that I can't start a business, they can but we tell ourselves that we can't and I think there's a lot around thinking how can I take ownership of this situation? How can I say to myself, I'm not the person who, who shies away from this now. From now on I'm a person who keeps doing something even though it might get a bit hard sometimes. From now on I'm the kind of person who can say no if I want to say no, from now on I'm the kind of person who doesn't need other people's approval or other people's permission if I want to do something. It's, it's just these things that we can do these small shifts that, that we can all make um but I believe we all can because if some, some broken down English guy uh can, can do it then um, then there's much more all of your listeners have got much more intelligence, passion, ambition, drive than them, than me. So, so anyone can do it, that's for sure.
Alex: This has been so inspiring. I've loved hearing your story and your nuggets of wisdom that you've picked up along the way so I'm just wondering, I have two more questions. The first is what kind of work do you do now? So you started your business, how can people connect with you?
Freddie: Perfect so, the work I do now I kind of combine everything I've learned from from my corporate career around sales and marketing when I worked with clients like uh you know Amazon, Coca-Cola, Microsoft, Verge Atlantic and so my professional expertise with all of my experience around foreign and then I go into businesses and, and I effectively give their teams the mindset, the tool sets and the skill set to achieving possible goals. So, that might be impossible sales targets. It might be dealing with the, with the impossible resourcing situation that I know so many companies are facing with the, the Global Talent shortage at the moment. So as I say, I use these talents. I go into companies which achieving possible goals and they, and they break records. So, the best place to find me is my website which is Freddie M bennett.com or my Instagram page which is the Freddie Bennett and yeah always happy to connect with people. If people go to our website there's a free ebook free download I try and give as much value and content as I can because for me it's it's about serving people and if I can most importantly just help people to think differently and do one thing differently in their lives then, then amazing things can happen.
Alex: Amazing. My last question for you is if you had any wisdom or any advice for someone who is just starting out their alcohol-free Journey or just curious about sobriety what would that be?
Freddie: Um, I'm gonna try and shoe horn to it very quickly. So, the first one is there's never a perfect time. There's always going to change drinking habits um there's always going to be another birthday, another works party, another wedding, another Saturday. There's always going to be something, there's never a perfect time. So make today the perfect time and then the final piece to end on really is that it's a reminder and I say this as someone who failed to change his drinking habits a thousand times and I mean that number. I tried and failed. Stopped drinking a thousand times but just remember you only need to get it right once and when you get it right once then you win. Then your life changes forever. So, and all those blips and all those times when you might have for whatever reason fallen off the wagon or had a drink or if things for whatever reason haven't gone to plan just remember you only need to get it right once and then the world and the future is your oyster.
Alex: Amazing conversation and I really loved getting to hear your journey and how you got to where you are today and the things that you learned and took away from your story so thank you so much.
Freddie: Thank you, it's been a real pleasure. This is, is literally an ambition and a dream come true of mine to appear on the podcast, so thank you. Um, I know we're kind of almost round the corner from each other in a global way with Bali and New Zealand, I'd um I say despite um not being a girl I'd love to come to one of your retreats sometimes. The worst thing about running tight hips, I need to get that sorted so um I need to, I need to get my yoga skills sorted Alex and I know you're, you're one of the best on the planet at what you do so um, so thank you so much and yeah I'm gonna be in Bali as soon as I can be basically and, and yeah I can't can't wait to um yeah to meet with you more and to learn more.
Alex: Amazing oh that would be awesome, meeting in real life.
Freddie: Let's make it happen. I'm sure we can. Impossible goals Alex, that's what we're gonna do we're going to achieve this impossible goal. The next podcast will be live in Bali.
Alex: Yes. All right thank you so much Freddie and have a great day.
Freddie: Thank you, it's been a pleasure.
Alex: Hi friend, thank you so much for listening to this episode of Sober Yoga Girl podcast. This community wouldn't exist without you here. So thank you. It would be massively helpful if you could subscribe, leave a review and share this podcast so it can reach more people. If we haven't met yet in real life please come get your one week free trial of the Sober Girls Yoga membership and see what we're all about. Sending you love and light wherever you are in the world.
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