By Meg Geisewite
We are born perfect, whole, with a bright light within that shines outward into the world. Slowly, our light dims as the world tells us we are too much or not enough, too sensitive or aggressive. It is all so confusing, so we find coping mechanisms to help us feel safe and to fit into this world. We become people-pleasers, caretakers, peacemakers, and over-achievers to help us fit in and feel good enough. We get messages to take care of others over ourselves and slowly lose sight of what our needs are, especially in motherhood.
As our light within dims, we feel disconnected from that inner knowing and we begin to look outside ourselves for approval and validation. As we get older, we find immediate connection, acceptance, and some glimpses of our old fun self when we drink. The drink erases the chatter in our brains that we are not good enough. It makes us feel like we are allowed to rest. It’s a societal permission slip to rest, especially in the mommy wine culture.
But slowly over time, alcohol starts to erode and corrode that connection to the small, inner voice, our inner knowing. It is so insidious that when we awaken to the fact that it is in control of us, we are baffled at how we got to this place. We are often left feeling confused as the world around us-is modeling and mirroring that our gray area drinking is so-called “normal.”
Once we listen to that small inner voice and get curious about our relationship with alcohol, we can see that it never served us. We awaken to the fact that it is a highly addictive drug that we are not warned about on the bottle. Getting curious and accepting what alcohol truly is; a depressant, carcinogen, toxin, drug, and poison shifts us out of a deprivation mindset with it.
Now without a substance in the way, we start to reconnect with our mind, body, and spirit. A new connection sparks to feeling and leaning into our body’s hell yes’s and hell no’s. We learn to create boundaries to put ourselves first and protect our energy. We awaken to the fact that there are no bad parts of ourselves, only the protectors that kept us safe and helped us survive through life’s challenges.
We begin to shed the “shoulds” and the old, conditioned beliefs like that of a snake’s skin. We can see that the past version of ourselves was doing the best she could at the time with the information she had. This is how we shed the shame. Rescuing and reconnecting with your inner child, your inner knowing, is how you begin to trust yourself once again.
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