Dec 142 min read

Dear Sober Coach:

Summer Struggles with Sobriety...

By Sarah Williamson

Meet Sober Coach Sarah:

Sarah has spent the last 15 years coaching and mentoring people who've struggled with their addictions and mental health, and she knows that choosing to change your relationship with alcohol before you hit rock bottom is a powerful and positive choice to make.

Sarah is passionate about spreading the message that our lives can be joyful and fun on the other side of our drinking careers, and there's no need to feel lonely, stressed or bored on this journey.

Hey GD,

Thank you for your message. I’m so delighted to hear from you and happy to share a few thoughts.

I don’t know what happened over the summer for you that felt like "life got in the way," and I’m really sorry to hear that things might have been less than ideal or hard to navigate for you. That sounds difficult.

It’s hard when you’re navigating difficult things at the same time as dealing with the inner turmoil around your relationship with alcohol.

A couple of truths first:

Alcohol will invariably make the ‘tricky to deal with’ even trickier.

Alcohol will add fuel to the overthinking, inner fire that’s already burning.

And then the softness:

You’re feeling “worse about your relationship with alcohol now than you did a few months ago?” Sure – of course you are! You thought you were going to do something different, and you haven’t, and that’s disappointing.

“I feel like giving up on trying to be sober. I feel like I’ve failed, I feel like everyone else can do this, and I will NEVER be able to.” Wow – that must be some difficult inner talk to listen to on repeat. How can you choose to be a bit more gentle with yourself?

How about… “I am navigating life. I am learning about what does and doesn’t work for me. I am watching other people and being inspired by them. I am choosing to work on myself and that takes time and energy. I am working on my goals day by day.”

“Do you think I should just forget about the whole ”sober thing” for now and come back and try again next year when life is a bit calmer?” No. I don’t. None of us can ever guarantee that tomorrow, next week, a month, or even a year from now will be calmer.There is only ever today. If what you have been doing up until now hasn’t worked though, perhaps it’s time to try something else? What have you been doing that HASN’T worked, and what haven’t you tried YET?